You reap what you sow

One of my mother’s sayings was ” you reap what you sow”. There was always a pregnant pause after the comment. She was a wonderful, self-taught philosopher/psychologist/maverick. I cannot say that she came across as a warm person – unless she particularly warmed to the other person, and she would then reveal the full extent of what she had to offer to another human being. I remember her recounting chance meetings with strangers whilst sitting on a bench in Windsor Great Park, or on Castle Hill, and two hour long conversations, in which she found the utmost pleasure … people literally telling her their life story – and I’m sure my mother sharing her own experiences. I can still hear her deep exhalation of relief as she expressed how much she had enjoyed the day. This was her form of therapy – an honest one to one with a stranger – a chance to get it off her chest, to hear someone else’s highs & lows, and then walk away.

And yet the irony is that I don’t know if you do reap what you sow. I don’t think my mother did. She lived a few years of her young life with an aunt, because her father was away fighting during the First World War, and her mother had younger children to care for. It caused her the pain of rejection, and eventually, she didn’t want to return, but did so, and felt her reluctant role was to help with the five younger children.She spoke of two people, whom I have interpreted as being her role models. The first was her girl guides’ leader. She loved the strict regime, the smart uniform and the instruction. Apparently, this is where she learned left from right. I now realise how little she must have been taught in the way she needed until this point in time for her to have treasured this experience so much. The other was her poetry teacher – a passion she passed on to me.

Having lost her husband at fifty,outliving two sons, and still managing to be a wonderful mother to me – the youngest child, I can’t see how she reaped what she sowed.

 ”And then my heart with pleasure fills,and dances with the daffodils”  William Wordsworth